Vera Siti
I asked Miss Stone if I could spend the day with Pritpal Singh today. We spent the whole afternoon together yesterday. She said there are many paths I could take to fulfil my destiny. But, they all lead to the same place. She explained how she had been destined to help me. I didn’t quite understand. But, I knew she meant well so I nodded and smiled. She looked at me sternly, “I know you don’t understand, but I’ll explain it to you. I haven’t always lived in this mansion, isolated from the world. My parents and I were once city dwellers. We were the talk of the town. But, I used to hate my life. Despite my beauty and intelligence, I was never popular at school. The children always used to ostracize me because we had more money (although they were plenty wealthy) and the teachers used to shake their heads at the bruises on my body. I was very sickly and when the nurses would see they would call the teachers. They pleaded that I would talk. I never did. Not until I met the wonderful people that I recruited to work with me here.” She paused, staring at the ground. I found myself with my hand around her shoulders.
“One day,” she continued, now looking me in the eye, “he beat my Mother so hard – she died. I watched her choking on her own blood. When he realised, he tried to repent, beg for forgiveness, to me, to whoever was listening – perhaps God. But, I had already lost God. All I had left was the cold, hard gun in my hands. And so, I shot him, right between the eyes. The inheritance was mine. I stayed with my Nana until I was 18 and then I built this home and rebuilt my soul. I started to help people. Yes, in my own way. But, Vera, when I met you I knew things would be different. Your Father may not have physically abused you, but you lost part of yourself when you were with him. And certainly, your Mother lost all of who she was. It is your right to gain that back. If it means doing handstands all day, then do it!”
I had lost all words. I couldn’t believe that such a composed woman had revealed so much of herself to me. I mean, I now understood what we had in common but, “Miss Stone, there are many men and women out there who had abusive Fathers. What’s so special about me?”
“There are a number of things. Primarily, it’s your um, vision.”
“What vision?”
“Bringing corrupt casinos down. My Father was a casino owner and when he started to bring in big money. Well, that’s when everything changed. I think he went corrupt. That’s also when the beatings started. I was eight.”
“So what’s our next move?” I was tired, the day had drained me.
She looked at me with a gentle smile, “Rest today, good food, maybe a light swim and then we’ll get started again in the morning. I promise you’ll get lots of time with Pritpal.”
…
I am already dressed in my white clothing when Rose knocks on my door, my hair is tied up – I’m ready for yoga. Rose walks me through to the yoga studio where there’s a strong aroma of cinnamon and cloves and pepper and cardamom and ginger. It’s intoxicating. I enter the studio and Pritpal is pouring a ladle full of the stuff into a mug for me, “It’s Yogi Tea. You must drink. Very very good for you. No coffee this morning.” He looked at me and then to Rose, “Never wanting to try anything new. These Westerners… You know, the black pepper acts as a stimulant, like caffeine. It also helps digestion. This tea is very good for you. Drink.”
What the hell. I think. I’m the idiot who signed up for this. I take a sip. “It’s delicious,” I say. My surprise is evident. “I told you, Miss Vera,” he says in his sing-song voice. “Come, let’s sit.” I follow him outside until we reach a large, covered seating area. The floor is carpeted and has many pillows which appear as though they are made for sitting on. There are many blankets and gentle music wafts down from speakers. It is fairly warm for 04H30 in the morning. “Sit on a pillow and wrap yourself in a blanket.” Pritpal takes the most well-lit seat in the room. I sit opposite him. “Every morning, I practice sadhana before the sun rises. It is my daily practice. If you wish to learn from me, I recommend that you join me in this practice. We will do yoga exactly as we did yesterday, but it will be more powerful. It’s easier to meditate and concentrate before the world around you wakes up. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy! It is the truth! But, I think today we do a brief sadhana and then we talk, okay?”
…
The yoga set took only an hour, including the meditation. When were done, a pot of steaming hot Yogi Tea had miraculously appeared. “Let us have some Yogi Tea, and we will drink to life and new beginnings.” I couldn’t believe these words were coming out of Pritpal’s mouth. He was so holy and pure, how could he expect me to go ahead and kill people and that it would be okay? “Pritpal, you know that I have made up my mind? You know that is why I am here? Why, when this goes against so many of your beliefs do you still have faith in me?”
He looked at me with pure love and said, “Because someone has to, Vera. I think that was your problem all along,” his accent seems to take away the magnitude of what he was saying, but I acknowledge what he meant and it really was the first time someone was digging that deep. “Vera, you are working from a place of anger. When your motive is love, no matter how misguided it may be. You will be able to make the right decision in a time of pressure. That is why we do the meditation for tremendous strength but that is also why we open the heart chakra and clear the negativity in the navel chakra. I know you have doubt. But, I also know you trust me. Stick it out. You will see when the time comes.” He is right. I trust him. He sees me like no one else. Miss Stone, however good her intentions may be (as we all know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions), did not see me in this light – she saw me as a means to an end. But, Pritpal, as much as I may have thought he was taking little purple pills, he had faith in me. That was priceless.
Before we finished for the morning he taught me the meaning of a mantra we chanted at the end of the set: Sat Nam. It means ‘I am truth’ or ‘Truth is my true identity’. “Remember that,” Pritpal said, “it will always help you in a time of need.”
“What does it mean, Pritpal?”
“The answers are inside of you, Vera. You are knowing of the way. You always have known. Truth is within you.” And with that he stands up and walks back to the studio. When we get there he turns to me and says, “Do what you have to do, Vera. Much will be available to you here. Do what you need to feel strong. I will always be here if you are having the questions. And every morning we will do sadhana. That will centre you. I hope you enjoyed your morning. If you need me, Miss Stone or Rose can find me.” He looked to the door. “Aaaaah! Already eight o’clock. Good morning Miss Stone!”
“Good morning, Pritpal Singh. Vera, are you ready for breakfast?” I nod.
…
Over breakfast Miss Stone discusses my schedule: “You will need to have cardiovascular training. You may choose swimming or running for one hour beginning at 10 o’clock, after which you will have a one hour break. Then you will go to the shooting range for an hour. Then you will break for lunch. Then from 14H00 until 16H00 you will have a half an hour break. Finally from 16H30 until 17H30, you will have boxing. Then you have free time for the rest of the day. Pritpal has requested that you spend your free time with him – he says you are welcome to nap.”
I don’t bother saying anything. It seems like I’m doomed to get through this day.
…
“So how was it?” I can tell that Pritpal pities me. “You know, my teacher used to always say one thing to me: keep up. You did well,” he chuckles. “What did you learn?”
“I can shoot,” I smile, “anything. And I should probably quit smoking. AND anger dissipates. When I was boxing, I was very angry for the first fifteen minutes. And then I was tired, but I guess I was angry about that,” I laughed.
“Good, you’re laughing!” He clapped his hands.
I stopped. “I don’t understand what you want from me, Pritpal.”
“You must keep up, you must find your truth!”
“But how do I find my truth?”
“You are truth. Keep up and you will see it!”
“But, how do I keep up?”
“It’s simple! Sat nam. Say it with every breath. Live it. You cannot be Miss Stone’s truth or Max Sunriseinsurance’ truth. You must be Vera’s. You must live with love. You must keep up. Learn to fight and shoot and meditate. And then you will see when the time comes. You will know your truth and you will have love. You will be equipped to protect yourself, deliver your message and make the right choices. You will see.”
I smiled. “Thanks Pritpal. Goodnight.”
I hugged Pritpal and headed for bed, aside from Sunriseinsurance, that was the first hug I’d given anyone in years…
